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Speaking Hypothetically...
Check out this party dress pattern from the late 80s. Ok...maybe at first glance it's not so funny. Sure, it's dated and unflattering, but not exactly loaded with laughs. However, let's imagine for a moment that an actual girl asked her highly skilled mom to make her this actual dress using this actual pattern (with an added see-through part to make it sassier). Let's say that this happened in the winter of 1989 when the girl was 15 years old. Let's also imagine that she had short, triangular, frizzy hair, braces, and a home hi-light job the bulk of which she did with a toothbrush while her mom wasn't looking. Pretend that she went to the Christmas dance in this dress and her dyed-to-match shoes with her boyfriend who was really her best friend, but whom she briefly decided to date. Oh, also let's imagine that she is very thin and pasty and the dress is black and that this combination makes her appear as if she is mourning the death of a loved one. I'm guessing it might look something like this....
But it's just a hunch.
Mary: That's a hell of a corsage your date gave you. Quite impressive!
Posted by Kimberly on April 17, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
actually... if you disregard the mid hip waistline... and imagine it was just a straight skirt... pretty cute dress! At least better than my sailor girl version. My mom had that EXACT SAME PATTERN and took it upon herself to create her own version. Lucky me.
Posted by: ljc | Apr 19, 2005 3:21:55 PM
I remember that pattern! I think the girl in the pic looks lovely :)
Posted by: tricia | Apr 21, 2005 7:39:24 AM
I thought you were talking about me. Except for the toothbrush highlights. You were scaring me. Mine was black satin, with a skirt just above knee length and layers of blue and purple tulle added under to poof it out. I was really pasty, too. I don't have pictures. Thank God.
Posted by: Jen | May 5, 2005 4:56:43 PM
Wait a minute, that IS the dress I wore to my junior prom!
And for the record I wasn't confused about my boyfriend, he was the one who was confused. It IS NOT my fault that he "discovered" that he was gay a week after the prom.
Posted by: Janette | May 8, 2005 5:17:17 AM
What do you folks mean, "was" your dress? I wore that to prom LAST NIGHT! I didn't have enough time for the Edward Scissorhands triangle hairstyle, though...But I tried.
Posted by: Bridget | May 8, 2005 11:42:52 PM
No Jen, she was really talking about me. I knew it was me, even though you changed the facts to protect the innocent...
...the secret's out now - it was henna, not highlights - and my mother made me do it out in the backyard so I wouldn't get the mess all over her bathroom (I told her it was a natural conditioner. haha- fooled her!)....
Posted by: Julie | May 12, 2005 11:20:03 AM
You're way to hard on yourself, actually you look rather cute.
Posted by: trannie | May 12, 2005 9:28:45 PM
Actually, your dress looks a heck of a lot nicer than the ones on the pattern. There's nothing wrong with your picture that couldn't be fixed by not being taken in the 80's
Posted by: Liz | May 19, 2005 1:30:42 AM
What every woman needs - a big huge bow across the butt.
"Hey!!! Look at me!!! Whaddaya think of my ass?"
(Mine's so big, I don't need a bow.)
Posted by: Cindy | Jun 20, 2005 3:55:36 PM
"Hey ma, do you think that this dress makes my ass look fat?""
"No, I think that your ass makes the dress look fat. But the dress does make your legs look like those of an achondroplastic dwarf"
All kidding aside, Kimberly, you were and probably still are a hottie. Mary, you're next. Let's see it!
Posted by: StevieS | Jun 21, 2005 7:24:59 AM
I had to laugh so hard when I saw this. My mother made me the SAME DRESS.
Posted by: ingrid | Jun 23, 2005 10:09:45 AM
Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, who says that they had this dress needs to send M&K a picture of you in it... Maybe there can be a contest of some kind. Whoever looked the worst wins the pattern! Whheeeeee! I'm going to look for my picture right now!
Posted by: Dish | Jul 20, 2005 6:46:21 PM
Hey, I have almost the exact same dress that I bought for $2 at the Salvation Army. It's royal blue, strapless, and has way too many ruffles and sequins, but I love it and even wore it on Halloween.
Posted by: Abby | Aug 8, 2005 4:39:23 PM
I also borrowed a dress like that to wear to my Winter Semi-Formal in 1990! I thought I was Hot Shit. Now I realize that even if I danced to Jane's Addiction at the dance, it was still a bad outfit.
Posted by: Allison | Aug 28, 2005 12:43:54 PM
Those highlights look pretty good -- nice toothbrush skills.
Posted by: k. | Oct 2, 2005 4:10:10 PM
i. have. that. dress.
i wore it, in 89. my aunt sandra made it. i'll find a picture and post it and let you know. i'm soooo not kidding.
Posted by: rebecca marie | Oct 19, 2005 6:01:48 PM
ok, so have y'all been picking thru my mom's box-o-patterns?
1984.
sweetheart's ball.
red watermark taffeta that could stand on it's own in a corner.
ass bow, bigger'n texas.
Posted by: waasabi | Jan 17, 2006 10:13:30 PM
I wore this dress as a bridesmaid in 1987, and to my prom in 1989. If it had not been made of shiny peach polyester, I would probably still be wearing it.
Posted by: Margarita | Nov 11, 2006 5:49:50 PM
Hey, if a boy spends that much on flowers he does NOT consider himself a "best friend".
And, GREAT hair - way to own that curl! I personally just kept mine cut short like Olivia Newton John. And, I wore a drop-waisted dress backward accidentally once, and realized it only when another girl at the same event had it on the right way. ouch.
Posted by: mrsmarshall | Jun 30, 2007 11:40:22 PM
