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So Proud To Live, So Proud To Die.

In the 1960s the United States was in a time of turbulence and negativism. Young people were chanting "Don't trust anyone over thirty!" and "Hell no, we won't go!"

But not everyone was against "the man" and soon a special group formed, people who sought to find a positive vehicle for young people to speak out to America and the world.

Searching for a theme to express their alternative to the negativism which surrounded them, they came up with the thought that "If there is anything they could be 'for' it is people." The phrase "Up With People!" became a song and conviction, and in 1968 is was the name of an organization that became a worldwide force for international education and relations.

The cheerful youngsters banded together to form "Sing Outs" , which spread like wildfire throughout the country. They carried their positive message from here to Timbuktu, spreading joy along the way.  To many, UWP was a light-hearted group with their heads up in the clouds. Little did they know of the dark times that had cast a shadow over the group's glowing message of universal love.

Following the success of tours in the Florida swamplands, the wild hills of Western Virginia and the golden grains of Iowa, UWP headed for the West, ready to entertain the "original" Americans with songs of their heartland. 

The unfortunately named "Up With Ponchos: Native America Sings!" tour began with a performance for the Lanahanee tribe on October 14th, 1969.  The remainder of the tour was canceled after the first night, due to an unfavorable response to the opening number - the classic "Cherokee People." Audience members booed loudly and pelted the disheartened performers with maize, dried berries and hunks of fermented beaver meat. The UWP singers left the reservation that night, saddened that they had not been able to share their positive message with the country's Native People. 

Prince Consuelo Banana Pants

The year is 1973 and Simplicity has just introduced their first pattern for gay couples. Oh sure, they slipped them quietly into the background behind the chick with the Dr. Frank-n-Furter makeup and the guy who closely resembles Austin Scarlett from Project Runway but still they’re there, lovingly pondering a daisy together.

What’s that you say? You think that’s a girl in the green shirt? You think that’s not a gay man? Are you freakin’ kidding me? Did you get a good look at those pants? They have actual fruit on them. ACTUAL FRUIT. That’s right. Those are banana pants. There. I’ve said it.  Man in banana pants.  Case closed.

Another Night At the Kitty Kat Krochet Klub.

"...Well, to be honest I'm only dancing here to put myself through school. Yeah, I'm studying to be a...um...a Children's Speech Pathologist. Yeah. I really want to make a difference in the world. So this is just temporary, just so I can afford school and all because school is really really expensive.

We're all like that actually...see the triplets over there? Amber, Alexa and Ana are all going to be kindergarten teachers, they are all soooo smart and really sweet. They don't even have boyfriends, they just come here to work and then go home and study every night.

Tiffani over there in the yellow outfit?  Yeah, I guess she is pretty flexible. She's studying to be a paralegal. She used to work at the mall at one of those Hot Dog on a Stick places but she just couldn't make ends meet. Her mother is really sick and had to have some big operation last winter, Tiffani's just here so she can make enough to cover the medical bills. She has such a big heart.

Huh? The blonde over in the corner? Taking off the blue outfit?  Oh god. That's Chantal. Yeah, she's just a whore. Don't even waste your time talking to her...she's not educated or sophisticated enough for a man like you.

Mmmm...that's right, a big smart guy like you. You're cute, you know that?  I mean it! You're really cute, really smart. I think you're sweet. Now...about that table dance. You wanna unravel my hotpants and get things started?"

At Least He Looks Her in the Face When He Talks to Her

It's comforting to know that those poor little roly poly kid heads can grow up, fall in love with full-bodied boys, make afghans (I'm guessing with their teeth??), and visit old villages.

Somebody Get That Kid a Carabiner!

I can't wait to have my own baby someday.  And I want to do all of the normal mother-daughter things...all the small pleasures you dream about.  You know, like coating my baby in head-to-toe crochet and taking her rock climbing with our fake German shepherd.

Who Wears Short Shorts?

   

Manchildren in Hand Knit Mittens

No! Robin. No!

Robin's crafty friend Mary Ann knew just how to keep Robin from gnawing on the itchy stitches from her lady surgery.

WARNING: In The Event That You Are The Victim of a Purse Snatching, Decapitation May Result

Do your arms ever get tired of performing the menial tasks of your everyday life?  Do they ever wish that instead of carrying your bag they could be imitating a WW II airplane or flapping around like chicken wings?  Or perhaps they would prefer to give a great big hug to the lonely child that lives deep down inside you?  Well, whether your goal is surface level silliness or deep rooted healing, Threadbared.com is here to help.  With these new necklace purses, your arms are freed up to do anything their elbows desire.

Oh...and according to the caption, these neck purses are better than ice cream!!

Personally, I Liked It Better Than "Mulholland Drive."

This is a little-known fact but long before he shot such classic films as "Eraserhead" and "Lost Highway" David Lynch provided art direction for a book of baby knitwear designs. Though it was an early episode in his career, thumbing through the pages you can recognize many of the stylistic trademarks that have defined his highly original body of work.

Let's take a look, shall we?

This cover sets the overall tone and feel, dark and moody, with a surrealist shot of color.

The first appearance of Disembodied Plastic Baby Head, a figure represented throughout the booklet. There has been much speculation as to his symbolism, which we will discuss in further detail as we go along.

And now things are starting to get a little weird....

And in a jump-cut, the Disembodied Heads have switched position and the colors have changed. Many feel this is a statement on the power of sexuality but Lynch has never commented to confirm this.

And now a switch back to black and white, and the classic Disembodied Baby Head Trinity.

One of the work's most haunting images and certainly a favorite of mine, the Flying Plastic Boy With Romper. Evocative of human desolation but shown with a sense of warped beauty, Flying Plastic Boy represents different things for different people.

The Socks and Bottoms shot, Lynch has allegedly declined any symbolism in this image, stating that he merely thought it "looked neat." 

A return to color, Pink Girl With Stroller represents hope and beauty in a cold and industrialist society.

And jumping to another scene. The baby shown can be thought of as either crying or laughing, depending on the audience's perception.

A flashback sequence relating to the booklet's first image...

I still get a chill every time I turn the page to find this powerful shot.... 

And the final page. I really think this just speaks for itself, and apparently Lynch feels the same way, as he had never spoken publicly about the booklet's ending.

It just blows your mind, doesn't it?  If you think the images are something, try flipping through the booklet while listening to Radiohead's "Kid A."  Un-freaking-believable.

Any theories on Flying Plastic Boy or the Disembodied Head Trinity would be great, these two parts have been driving me crazy for years....

Task #2 is Stealing Flip Flops from Old Navy

Look, April.  Do you want to be in the Purple Diamond Gang or not?  Cause if you do, you'd better get to eating this kitten.

No, I'm not kidding.  This is the first task in our initiation test.  If you don't do this, you'll never be a Purple Diamond Girl and you'll never get your rhinestone glitter shank.

We've all done this.  It's how we all got in.  Well, except for Stacy.  She's allergic.  She ate a possum instead.

Mary & Kimberly Pimp Yo Ride.

Is that busted-ass minivan just too boring for you? 

Are your homies embarrassed to roll up to a shorty's crib in your draggin' pizzle of shizzle?

Then get things "off the hook" in a jiffy with this great new item from your peeps at Threadbared.com!  Mary and Kimberly can take your bucket and turn it into the sweet ride of your dreams!

Interested parties apply today, it's positively DA bomb!

* Disclaimer: "Mary & Kimberly Pimp Yo Ride" excludes Alaska, Hawaii and the other 48 states. No actual rides will be pimped.

Oh Yes, It's a Body Bag

Yes, why not on the terrace?  In fact, why not use the afghan to transport the body of the pattern model that you just killed and left on your terrace?  That condescending, insensitive pattern model who had the nerve to wear a turban on the horse and buggy ride that you took together in Cairo.  The same model that later said she only dates real photographers.  Of course, she said that only after she had finished the entire plate of basboussa that you paid for.  Be sure to lay her on the attractive multicolored crochet flower portion of the afghan in order to help hide the blood stains....everyone will not find blood stains original and beautiful.

In The Wild.

The Elusive Knit-Bodied Peafowl have been kept and reared in captivity for over 2,000 years. Although some signs of domestication have occurred, such as the ability to walk upright, apply lip gloss and read tabloid magazines, no changes in shape or size are present.

Knit-Bodied Peafowl are famous not only for their beautiful appearance, but also for their peculiar behavior. For instance, before the rainfall, peafowls utter an unpleasant wailing cry and will then begin urinating on innocent bystanders. This particular breed of peafowl is notorious for being rather quarrelsome. In captivity, they do not get along well with other domestic animals, perhaps, considering themselves unique creatures, which they undoubtedly are.

The long ornamental feathers, which the Knit-Bodied Peafowl displays so magnificently here, are part of an elaborate courtship display. During the mating season, the feathers elevate to form a massive, lacy fan, supported from behind by the unadorned tail feathers. This sight is accompanied by rasping noises from the fluttered wings, prancing movements of the feet and repeated cries of “I’m sooooo drunk. Oh god, I’m sooooo drunk.”

The act of copulation is surprisingly brief and afterwards the Knit-Bodied Peafowl tend to become angry and snappish. The male Peafowl wisely keeps his distance until a new mating season begins. The female knits a warm nest for roosting and in three weeks time the Knit-Bodied Peafowl will lay three to five brownish buff eggs.  The beauty of life begins anew.

Now Little Timmy Sings Soprano

Click on the pic to see Timmy and all his friends.

Roger Vs. The Bright Orange Semi-Gods.

Sure he tried, but Roger could never really compete with the hot, tanned, headless torsos of his friends. The chicks really dug them and they never had a bad hair day, even in the most humid weather. 

If You Tilt Her Backward Her Eyes Close!

I won’t pretend to comprehend the emotional complexities of parenthood, but it’s got to be disappointing when you’re expecting to have a fully poseable child and instead you end up with one of these scary doll-like kids with the arms and legs that don't move.