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The Battle Of The Bulge
Once again, Vogue has provided the perfect wardbrobe solution for every...person. Look how the drape of the caftan hides one's hips...or any other um...things on one's body one might want to conceal. And see how it makes a person look glamorous even if maybe one is not usually so...how do I say this...feminine? A caftan also accomodates broad shoulders. You know, in case you're big boned or whatever. And it's long enough to cover feet that are maybe like larger than usual lady feet or something. And if say you liked to go dance in clubs in Midtown it would give you plenty of room to move about and stuff.
OK. I GIVE UP. I TRIED TO DANCE AROUND IT. I TRIED TO ACT LIKE EVERYTHING WAS NORMAL OVER AT VOGUE, BUT I CAN'T. I CAN'T KEEP LIVING THIS LIE. THOSE ARE MEN, BABY. MEN, I TELL YOU. THEY ARE BIG TALL FANCY MEN IN CAFTANS.
With fabulous accessories, by the way.
Posted by Kimberly on October 27, 2005 | Permalink
Comments
I hate it when men are pretter than I am. I hate it when I dress up and look like a drag queen.
Oh Hell, where can I get a caftan?!
Posted by: SageHen | Oct 26, 2005 11:08:12 PM
Ok, yes, I agree that 4 of them are, indeed, fancymen wearing caftans. However, I have every reason to suspect that the "lady" on the far left is Ethel Merman.
Posted by: tonya | Oct 26, 2005 11:20:10 PM
The one in the gold looks like Bea Arthur.
Posted by: cheryl | Oct 26, 2005 11:24:45 PM
Finally! Something to hide all of my lovely lady humps!! and bumps....and lumps....
The one on the right in pink is *totally* John Leguizamo!
Posted by: BarbieDearest | Oct 27, 2005 8:20:39 AM
I actually own a caftan. :D
My aunt Sharon (5'1", maybe 130 lbs soaking wet) got it from my aunt Susan (5'5", fluffier), and I can wear it without problem (5'10", big shoulders and hips, fluffy). It would've swallowed her WHOLE! So we took it off her hands, and I've been wearing it like a nightgown.
They're great on hot summer weekends when you don't leave the house. But I can't believe one would need much of a pattern for them... "Get 9 yds of 60" wide fabric, sew up the sides (inserting pockets), and cut a hole for your head and neck. Hem all raw edges." Voila!
Posted by: Christy | Oct 27, 2005 11:00:49 AM
Holy 1970's, Batman! I think I saw this gang elbow their way into Studio 54 30 years ago.
Posted by: Marcia | Oct 27, 2005 11:13:51 AM
BIG TALL FANCY MEN IN CAFTANS.
That was my favourite band in college.
Posted by: Ice Queen | Oct 27, 2005 12:53:36 PM
The one in pink is actually Liz Taylor, pre-Forensky.
Posted by: jayco | Oct 27, 2005 1:04:36 PM
These men have the tiniest little feet I've ever seen!
Posted by: Kristin | Oct 27, 2005 1:19:43 PM
....Fortensky...
Posted by: jayco | Oct 27, 2005 1:53:29 PM
Big tall fancy men in caftans pretending they're pregnant. Like you said, a caftan can hide a myriad of things.
Posted by: Brent McKee | Oct 27, 2005 4:00:02 PM
I'm totally with BarbieDearest. The one on the right in pink is John Leguizamo, the one in gold is Patrick Swayze, and the darker skinned one in lavender is Wesley Snipes.
Thanks for everything, Julie Newmar.
Posted by: Sputnik | Oct 27, 2005 4:36:48 PM
Those gals (?) look like they've been hanging out with Mrs. Roper on 3's Company....
Posted by: Desiree | Oct 27, 2005 4:53:55 PM
Does the "Very Easy" monniker on the bottom of the packet indicate that the pattern is very easy, or the he/shes?
Either way, it will break the ice at those stuffy old faculty parties...
Posted by: Yorkie | Oct 27, 2005 5:21:48 PM
Didn't I see them doing their act at Charlie Brown's All Stars??
Posted by: Jane | Oct 27, 2005 6:09:50 PM
Mrs. Roper, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Posted by: Janice in GA | Oct 27, 2005 9:53:57 PM
I went to high school with the redheaded guy on the far left and he was a bitch then, just like now, just like he looks. On the rag thity-two days a month, you know it.
Posted by: phil | Oct 27, 2005 10:55:06 PM
now we know how RuPaul actually supports himself.
Posted by: beastarzmom | Oct 28, 2005 3:18:10 PM
Isn't a caftan wearing tranny the target audience for Midtown clubs anyway?
Posted by: AP | Oct 28, 2005 3:53:49 PM
Sure, the testosterone injections were a good idea at first, but none of them would forget the ninja stars they took to the hearts when their prom dates left them outside the Piggly-Wiggly.
Posted by: Shinlick | Oct 29, 2005 1:05:51 AM
wasn't someone in _The Posseidon Adventure_ wearing one of those? or _The Towering Inferno_?
what is the original point of a caftan? is it a house dress with more fluff? is it a nightgown? or a robe? i could look it up, but why? they just look like the things one wears when you're bored with your life and hubby, smoke a lot, and live in a house with too much framed 70s long stitch crafts.
Posted by: IHateToast | Oct 30, 2005 10:00:38 AM
Only two of them have had the foresight to cover their Adam's apples.
Posted by: Spirit Fingers | Oct 30, 2005 11:37:30 AM
Finally, something that can double as draperies!
Posted by: Kyle | Oct 30, 2005 5:53:57 PM
