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Gary Tries to Transition to "Legitimate" Photography
Overheard at a Mon Tricot photo shoot:
"OK. Gloria, good start with the mouth there. We can work with that. But Sharon, what's with the smile? Not exactly appropriate for a photo shoot, is it? Could we get a little less Sears Catalog and a little more Barely Legal Babes?"
"Good, Gloria. Excellent. The camera loves you. Now in this shot we want to see Porn Mouth in a rain storm. Can you do that?'
"What? We don't have a rain machine? Crap. OK. Do we have a ladder and a guy with a watering can? NO? Are you serious? This building doesn't have running water? Good Lord, I'm going back to Hustler first thing Monday morning."
"OK, Gloria. Change of plans. I'm going to need Porn Mouth in a gumball storm. That's it, darling. Beautiful!"
"Now I need Porn Mouth at a party."
"What? A fiesta? Sure. Whatever. Yes, there can be a piñata. Margaritas? OK. Whatever. Yes, and those little things you blow on that make noise. Sure. Look, who cares? Just get the mouth magic right, OK, honey?"
"Now, Gloria, babe, in this shot I'm gonna need the Porn Mouth you can't take home to Momma. You know what I'm talking about! Perfect, sugar, perfect!"
"OK, we have to finish up this shoot today. Let's move on to the rest of the models."
"Now kids, for this shot I'm going to need Porn Mouths in a blackout. Got it?"
Posted by Kimberly on November 22, 2006 | Permalink
Comments
The scary part is, I can just imagine the photographer instructing these guys to pull faces like that -- although probably not with the "porn mouth" expression.
They're hilarious!
Posted by: alyndabear | Nov 22, 2006 2:39:47 PM
Brilliant. Welcome back.
Posted by: Rachel | Nov 22, 2006 9:23:17 PM
How come the kids are all wearing such short sweaters...or have they burned the bottoms off with those candles.
Posted by: ellie | Nov 23, 2006 12:13:10 AM
It is lovely.
Posted by: SageHen | Nov 23, 2006 10:55:26 AM
They show this to girls at William Morris, right? "And if you ever ever do this, deary, you'll never throw up your lunch in this town again!"
I just tried to make that face and I can't do it without laughing.
Posted by: infantkittensyringe | Nov 23, 2006 10:29:22 PM
Whoever designed that "party/fiesta" top in the 3rd pic, must have eaten a lot of Neopolitan ice cream when they were young.
And what's that gold fishing lure looking thing in her left ear?
Posted by: PeacefulDave | Nov 23, 2006 11:34:41 PM
I hope little Blondie in the bottom pic is wearing a choker style necklace, because otherwise it looks like her neck is gashed.
Posted by: Lois | Nov 24, 2006 1:51:23 AM
That second jumper isn't that bad, actually...the model looks like she's just been goosed and isn't sure if she dislikes it or not...
Posted by: Yorkie | Nov 24, 2006 4:55:07 AM
hysterical! Thanks I really needed a laugh today! I was practically in tears laughing so hard!
Posted by: sarah | Nov 24, 2006 4:57:14 PM
I wonder if the brunette's fish mouth MIGHT be because of her rather FLATTENED profile (first pic). I think she's having trouble getting enough oxygen (ie mouth breathing)...
Posted by: Melissa | Nov 24, 2006 5:19:35 PM
I can't believe nobody's commented on her slightly wandering eye. Melissa must be right - not getting enough oxygen.
Posted by: Jessamyn | Nov 26, 2006 3:01:54 PM
Is anyone else disturbed by Sharon's freakishly tiny waist? WOW
Posted by: Stephanie | Nov 26, 2006 11:54:51 PM
She looks like she was the model for "Jenny the Inflate-O-Date® with 'vibrating pleasure mouth'".
Posted by: Inky | Nov 27, 2006 6:04:40 PM
I thought that the words in the fourth photo said "Greasy Knitting"
but it's something-"easy knitting"
Posted by: Amy | Nov 27, 2006 7:10:04 PM
I'm so horrified by the expression on her face in these pics, I can't even on the knitwear...
Okay, I forced myself to focus...
So do you think the "blow-up doll" expression Inky quite accurately referred to was used so no one would notice she's wearing different types of rag-rugs upon her person?
Just sayin'
-Jenn
www.thriftshopromantic.com
Posted by: Jenn | Nov 28, 2006 8:53:26 AM
That's a lazy eye, not wandering.
Bad eye, bad! Stop being such a slacker!
Posted by: Jenzilla | Nov 29, 2006 3:52:24 PM
aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Posted by: tara bethune-leamen | Dec 16, 2006 3:25:29 AM
um, in the second to last photo, I think the girl needs to pin her wig back onto her head before it slips off the back of her neck :o
Posted by: alissa | Sep 9, 2007 9:14:59 PM
