Threadbared

Merry Christmas From Threadbared.com!

Happy holidays to everyone!

We'll be back with new posts on January 2nd.

Behind The Threadbared.

We're very lucky that our awesome blogging service Typepad selected Threadbared: Decades of Don'ts from the Sewing and Crafting World as their featured book of the month this December. Thank you Typepad!

You can read an interview with us here or if you've ever wondered what Kimberly and I sound like (we sound very silly) you can listen to a podcast interview with the most excellent Jesse Thorn (host of The Sound Of Young America, the best public radio show ever).

If you have a few minutes, you may enjoy reading over the Q&A. If you have a little more time, sit back and listen to the podcast. If you have a surplus of time on your hands, make a game of it by grabbing a pencil and paper and counting the number of times I can say "um" and "you know" in the span of 23 minutes.

And, um...you know...enjoy!

Bringing New Meaning To The Expression "Sleep Tight."

Alright darling, it's time for beddy-byes! 

No, no dear...you mustn't cry! Mother and Father have had such a long day. Frankly, Mother just can't take it any longer.

I'm counting to five and if you haven't stopped crying Mother will be forced to bring out the Crib Sleeper.

Oh no! Now you're crying even harder! Tsk, tsk...the Crib Sleeper it is then! Oh well...Mother gave you a chance and you blew it!

There, there. I don't know what all this fuss is about. Why, you look snug as a bug in a rug! No...that's doesn't seem quite right. Why would a bug be snug in a rug anyway? A rug if far too large for a bug. I'm afraid Mother doesn't know the answer to that one. Mother thinks you look just as cozy as a loony in a straitjacket. Yes, that's more like it...

Now, now...no more tears. Off to dreamland you go! Don't worry...Mother will be right here when you wake up in the morning.

Oh, now you've started crying all over again! Honestly darling, Mother just doesn't know what to do with you sometimes...

Ho Ho No.

Well, it's officially the holiday season now and time for me to dust off my copy of Better Homes and Gardens Holiday Decorations That You Can Make, filled with over 300 projects to give your home that holiday spirit and make your family and friends think they've taken the time tunnel back to 1974.

   

Truth be told, a lot of the projects in the book are pretty dang cute. The stockings pictured above? Adorable. The Christmas slogan banner? Quite cheerful.

The "Tabletop Magic" chapter, well...that's where things start to go a bit off. "Over 300 projects"...that's an awful lot  of projects. Maybe the editors were overreaching a little bit...maybe it would have been better to stop at say, 285 projects....298 projects even.

The Tabletop Angels shown here actually aren't bad and a few sets of googly eyes, well, that would just make all the difference in the world. Isn't everything better with googly eyes? But then, perhaps the Tabletop Angels are Amish?

The Expanded Aluminum Extravaganza seems quite a liberal use of the term "Extravaganza" but sure, whatever. Tonight Only: the Expanded! Aluminum! EXTRAVAGANZA!!! With special guest star, Scotch Plaid Loveseat!

Now here, here is where Better Homes & Gardens starts to lose me.

This? I am sorry but two oven mitts with candles behind them do not a table-topper make. I mean come on, even Kimberly and I could do better than that.

See?

And it wasn't even that hard! Get with the program Better Homes & Gardens...

Of course we've saved the best for last. Yes, here's a really special number uniting kitchen utility objects with religious iconography....it's the Kitchen Grater/Madonna Shrine!

Two things that should never even be used in the same sentence - "Kitchen Grater" and "Madonna." 

Well, unless that sentence is: "So I pulled out my kitchen grater to start fixing the cheese for our enchiladas and that new Madonna song came on the radio. Who is she trying to kid with that pseudo British crap anyway?"