Not Dead.

Much as I'd like to blame our absence on something really exciting, like being abducted and eaten alive by a poncho-wearing band of legless, armless zombies I'm afraid the real excuses are much more lame.

Kimberly is busy at work.

I went on vacation.

While I was on vacation I sat under a palm tree and a coconut fell upon my wee little head. I immediately blacked out and spilled a mai tai all over my bikini. When I came to I was lying in a hospital bed and a man in a white coat was waving his hand over my face and asking me my name, age, home address, favorite color and who did I think would win on "Dancing With The Stars." Of course, I couldn't remember anything. After a while a man showed up and said he was my "husband" and that he was going to take me "home." We pulled up to a ramshackle place in the country and a bunch of dirty, rowdy kids came out and were all annoying and then my "husband" was all, "Well, I guess I'll go bowl or whatever it is I do while you clean the house from top to bottom and fix our dinner." So I started sweeping this hovel that was supposedly "mine" when suddenly I realized, "Wait, a minute! This isn't me! I don't have kids! I don't sweep! This is just the plot to that damn movie Overboard!" 

My real life came flooding back to me and I caught the next plane back to Atlanta, stopped at the package store for a fifth of Jack Daniel's and gleefully ran into my own home. But when I got back into my office I was confused. There was a large, shiny object sitting on my desk. I turned to my husband and pointed to the desk. "What's that?" He put his arm around me and gently said, "That's a computer, honey."

"Huh? What is...a...computer?"

"It's this thing that you sit in front of all the time."

"I sit? In front of that?"

"Yeah. Oh, and sometime you use it for this website you do."

"Web....site?" 

Needless to say it's taken time for me to fully regain my memory. Earlier today I emailed Kimberly to say how completely awesome mayonnaise is and also, had she ever seen this terrific show called "Live With Regis and Kelly?"  She wrote back to remind me that I completely detest mayonnaise and that Regis Philbin makes me projectile vomit.

So, you know...I'm just trying to get back in the swing of things. I appreciate everybody's patience as I relearn how to use this whole world wide interspace. I may be able to regain enough memory to put up an actual "post" (I think that's what they're called?) on Friday. Let's all keep our fingers crossed...